“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” Mandy Hale
Have you ever thought about the fact that the universe is constantly in flux? Movement never ceases. The earth never stops its rotation around the sun. The seasons are always changing and some dramatically so at least in New England. Perennials make their appearance in spring and summer months rising in beauty and glory for days or weeks at a time. Caterpillars go into their cocoon, metamorphosing into magnificent butterflies. We could go on about every living entity on this earth, but as one thinks about it, what a marvel this occurrence is. For better or worse, nothing stays the same yet many human beings forget about this natural phenomenon. So often they see their lives as being static without any variation on a daily, weekly or even annual basis. Subsequently, surrender and stagnation ensue, and for the life of them, they do not know how to become “unstuck.”
When someone says, “You can’t change people.” I present my respectful but dissenting position. Think about it! From a physiological perspective, cells are constantly forming, multiplying, dividing, and dying off to make room for new ones. Although this is an accelerated process in our younger years, it continues throughout life. If such a dynamic action is occurring on the physical level, what about the behavioral level? Some people would argue that changing behavior is just too arduous or they are too old. Now such thinking is the first which needs to become “unstuck.” Let us use the metaphor of H2O and think of ourselves as water. Sometimes we become frozen, but under the right circumstances we return to our fluid form. Often in its most formidable state, the gentle flow of water becomes mighty and pushes through any obstacles in its path. If someone truly wishes to become “unstuck” and alter their behavior, they can do it through hard work, repitition and persistence.
Movement is all around you, and it is up to you to capitalize on your ability to move. If one feels so weighed down and stuck, a small effort is difficult to make. Recognize, however, even if it is a minimal attempt, movement is happening. Like everything else in the topsy turvy journey we call life, signs of success are often not readily evident which is the reason so many people capitulate. They see their undertakings as being fruitless which reinforces their belief they cannot change or perhaps another whom they are trying to guide or encourage cannot alter their behavior. Take note, progress is never a straight line, and initially may ebb more than it flows. As a therapist and coach, I am frequently asked, “Will things ever change?” My reminder is that nothing stays the same, and if you truly wish for your endeavors to pay off, perseverance is the key. There is no choice! A few suggestions which often work for people on the cusp of major change is to practice through journaling and habitually writing a word or sentence which resonates. Also, looking in the mirror and repeating over and over a simple sentence such as “I can and I will.” By doing such exercises regularly, you are already moving, changing and letting the rivers flow. “Stick with this, and you will get unstuck.”